Opinion
Hate your boss but can’t quit? Here are eight things to do instead
By Colin D Ellis
Almost every week there is a new toxic culture story in the media, and Australia is no exception. Allegations of toxic management have been reported at WiseTech, Country Road Group, the Bureau of Meteorology and Sony Australia to name a few. The culture in some parts of Nine (the owner of this masthead) was alleged to be so toxic that employees dubbed it “Punishment Island”.
According to research, almost half the world’s population dreads going to work. That feeling, in the pit of the stomach, of having to work in an environment of uncertainty, fear, poor communication, micromanagement, bullying or daily toxic behaviours can be difficult to bear.
No one should ever suffer at the hands of a bad boss and in situations where you cannot quit.Credit: Andrew Quilty
Yet, what the research doesn’t make clear, is that regardless of this feeling of dread, people will show up anyway because, well, they have to. Groceries need to be bought, mortgages or rent need to be paid, children need to be educated or loved ones cared for.
Far too often the advice – if you dread going to work – is simply to quit. But for many this is impossible, as the uncertainties are too great or the risks of loss of income too high.
So how do you deal with a toxic boss when quitting isn’t an option? In my experience of having worked with individuals in this position, there are eight steps I always advise before thinking about taking on the uncertainty of quitting. They are:
1. Look after yourself first. In toxic work situations, your wellbeing needs to be the top priority. Regular exercise, proper nutrition and adequate rest form the foundation of mental resilience. Your physical health directly influences how well you handle workplace challenges.
Many toxic bosses have received payouts in the millions for bringing untold misery to the people that report to them.
2. Excellence as protection. Maintaining impeccable work quality to defend against unfair criticism. Model professional behaviour to ensure there can be no blame laid at your door.
3. Document your experiences. Dedicate brief daily moments to record your workplace experiences and feelings.
Simple starters such as “My feelings today ...“, “What impacted me ...” or “Observable actions included …” are a good place to start. This has a twofold advantage of creating an “audit trail” of how you (and others) are treated and can also help to process your emotions.
4. Open communication channels. If it feels safe enough to do so, engage your manager in professional, focused discussions about specific concerns and potential remedies. Express how their actions or behaviours make you feel.
5. Involve HR. If direct communication with your manager isn’t viable, bring your concerns to your human resources department. Present objective observations (as documented in point No.3) of what you’ve experienced.
6. Consider internal moves. If these approaches prove unsuccessful, explore transfers or temporary assignments within the company to both escape the toxic environment and broaden your experience.
7. Foster relationships. Develop a reliable network of friends, colleagues or mentors who can offer support and perspective when needed. This safety net is essential for navigating difficult times.
8. Define your boundaries. Establish and maintain clear professional limits regarding your time, duties and workplace relationships.
If more drastic action is required, then seek professional advice, or if you have witnessed something unlawful, then alert the authorities immediately.
I always advise against sharing your experiences on social media. Not only can this bring unwanted attention to you from the media and others, it can also lead to litigation that could destroy your reputation for future work.
That said, people often feel they have no other option than to go public to bring their toxic boss to “justice”. However, be aware that how the company chooses to deal with the allegations may not be to your satisfaction. Many toxic bosses have received payouts in the millions for bringing untold misery to people who report to them.
No human being should ever suffer at the hands of a bad boss and in situations where you cannot quit (which will always be the best option). Employing the strategies that I have outlined here will not only ensure you manage your mental and physical health but also provide you with an opportunity to deal with your toxic boss.
Colin D. Ellis is a five-time bestselling author and culture consultant. His latest book, Detox Your Culture, will be published in Australia on December 3.
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