I never blamed myself for having breast cancer. Until I read Elle Macpherson’s book

When I was a teenager, Elle Macpherson graced the pages of the fashion magazines I devoured. In my 20s, I bought expensive Elle Macpherson lingerie. I knew that it wouldn’t look the same on me and that cheaper undies were more comfortable, but I bought it anyway.

A few months ago, as I struggled with the side effects of my breast cancer treatment, I purchased the Goddess Elixir from Macpherson’s company, WelleCo, which promises to “Revitalise your core feminine from the inside”. It turned out to be a waste of $60, since I couldn’t bring myself to use it without first checking with my oncologist, and was too embarrassed to admit to someone else that I had fallen for marketing hype. Again.

I like to think I know what’s real, what’s maybe real, and what’s definitely not real. But I’m not immune to clever marketing. So, when I read about Macpherson’s cancer journey earlier this week, I downloaded her eponymous memoir, Elle, onto my Kindle; I wanted to know how she had cured her breast cancer with “wellness”.

Of all the money I have contributed to Elle Macpherson’s empire, it’s the $13 spent on that e-book that I regret the most. Because after reading about the “learnings” from her cancer journey, I cried. A lot.

I was diagnosed with stage 3 inflammatory breast cancer in November 2022. Since then, I’ve been fighting the cancer and learning about it. But one thing I have never done is blame myself for getting cancer in the first place. And nothing I have read, seen or heard had caused me to even consider it was my fault. Until I read Macpherson’s book.

In one chapter, she writes that she felt a need to get to the “root cause” of her cancer, explaining that she believes the cancer “manifested” in her body because of her “emotional and spiritual state”. This, she says, informed her decisions about treatment: “It would be unwise to try and solve a largely emotional or spiritual problem in a purely physical way.”

I bought the book with an open mind. I have no doubt that diet, exercise and a person’s state of mind can play a huge role in a person’s overall health. But the idea that my “emotional and spiritual state” caused my cancer? I should have stopped reading then.

But facing your own mortality is a huge thing. You do wonder things like, could I have avoided this? Did I do something wrong?